Alright listen here kids. I’ve worked at Hanny’s for nearly 2 long years of my life, and I got some stories for you after having my last day in mid April. And not only do I have some stories, but my good friends who are co-authoring this post with me do as well! Another new thing for the blog! Now don’t hear this post as being negative. I assure you this is purely for your entertainment, as you know there have been so many good things that have happened from working there, such as getting to know these good friends I’m writing this with.  Just laugh, it’s supposed to funny. We died laughing while writing this, even though its all true, so take it in good fun. So lets do this interview style and jump right in!

Question #1-How long have you worked at Hanny’s?

Violet*: So far, 2.5 years. Front end

Tyrone*: Four long years of assholes. Front end as well.

J: A year and a quarter.

Question #2- What is the most memorable thing that’s ever happened to you while working at Hanny’s?

Violet: So I had this customer, and he came to my line,and he put all the big things on my belt (which is already annoying but sure, I needed an arm workout that day). I went along with it, load him up, give his receipts, and I looked over. He’s not saying anything as he’s leaving, and all of a sudden I see a long trail of kitty litter from the whole belt down the register to the exit of the store, like a slime trail a snail would leave.

Tyrone: So recently I had to break up a senior citizen fistfight over the red line at Hanny’s. One guy didn’t want to stay behind it, so I had to scream “Sir, can you get behind the red line?” He didn’t, and the other guy in line said to get behind it, and then they started to get angry with each other so I screamed to get behind it again and then they stopped fighting. I don’t play around at my register! We’ll have order!

J: Nothing too crazy has happened to me while at a register I think like you two, but I’ve seen meltdowns and tantrums galore.

Question #3-Reveal one of Hannford’s dirty secrets.

Tyrone: We’ve never done a deep clean of the registers since I’ve been working there.

Violet: 75% of all the desserts and breads at the bakery are just frozen. They do not make nearly anything fresh from scratch. They are good at decorating, though.

J: I literally don’t care about people’s eggs, their Hannaford rewards, or bagging preferences. I just do whatever the heck I fell like. I’m probably the worst person to get when your in line for a register.

Question #4-What is your best experience at Hannafords?

Violet: This guy in the store is very friendly with me. I understand when people are making funny jokes, and this man always comes through my line, makes snide remarks, and then I one day I went to go do carts outside, and he’s doing loops around the building to get his wife, and he comes barreling towards me in his car and laughing. And he goes “Oh, I almost hit ya!” So I was pushing carts towards his car, and he drives out laughing and I’m cackling away in the parking lot.

Tyrone: Generally, helping the customers. You know, seeing their joy. Seeing them satisfied with their shopping. Using the Power of You. Helping old ladies to their car. Engaging in insightful conversations about life things. Thanking our veterans, especially Vietnam ones that come through. That kind of thing.

J: Last April I was working close to Easter and I just had this feeling from the Lord that I should put some money on and give a Hannaford gift card to my service leader who I was working with at the time, so she could get food on her breaks and stuff. She was really cool, and that day I just kind of looked at her and thought, “she needs someone to bless her today”. It was totally unprompted and I’m sure very strange to receive from her end, but I very much was glad I got to bless her and show her a little random act of kindness.

Question #5-What has been your worst experience?

Tyrone: Doing carts in a blizzard. It was pretty shitty. A woman who makes me bag double plastic in double paper. How wasteful.

Violet: I had a favorite customer once. And then things turned bad. Real bad. He was really nice to me, we had great conversations, etc. He is in his late 50’s, early 60’s. He has a wife. One day, he started flirting with me. I thought it was a one day thing, kept ringing stuff up, but I knew this was day he was gonna do something. I ended up going to punch out, and that was his open window. He came right up to me before I punched out (so at least I was getting paid for this) and says, “Wanna get coffee sometime?” And I said yes, cause I got grandpa vibes from him! He asked me what day and what time, and so I said, “Oh I don’t know, I’ll tell you next time you come through my line.” But he kept insisting over and over, and then that was when the red flags were starting to pop up like fireworks and I was like, “Shit!” So I awkwardly talked my way out of it, and now he avoids me and there’s weird eye contact cause grandpa tried to ask me out! I’m not anybody’s sugar baby!

J: Since I don’t feel like telling a story with so much detail, I’ll probably just say slamming my fingers into carts and running over my own feet all day every day when they make me do carts.

Question #6-What’s the grossest thing you’ve ever seen at Hanny’s?

Violet: Really nice couple comes up, but I noticed something weird. This guy had a red solo cup. He picks it up, puts it up to his face, and this black stuff comes out from dip in his mouth. I was horrified. His wife was mortified that he was doing it in a store, in public. He put it down next to the pin pad and walked away after they were done paying. I called a service leader over to take care of it, and asked him what he wanted to do with it, and the man’s wife looked back near the exit doors and noticed that there was crowd gathering around this cup! So she stops him from leaving, he ran back and grabbed it, and I haven’t seen them since.

Tyrone: That same woman I mentioned before and her husband. They unfortunately smell like cat pee.

J: I swear on my life, I am not making any part of this story up and saw it with my own eyes. I was checking a man out one time, and his toddler was sitting in the cart. She dropped her pacifier on the flood, as babies do. I was like, “Oh, too bad, she dropped her pacifier.” This man picked it up off the Hannaford floor, and put it right back into her mouth. Did not wipe, did not put it in his mouth and give it back to her (I heard some people will do that if its an emergency), nothing. So my eyes got wide and I looked over to my bagger to see if he just saw what I saw. I turn back and continue checking him out. As toddlers do, she dropped it again, and I’m cringing to see what he’ll do next. Surely, he wouldn’t put it back into her mouth. He did. And then, she drops it a third time. And after three times on the grocery store floor where hundreds of carts, shoes, various food spills, etc. pass through every day, he puts it back into her mouth again. I was, and still am, incredulous about that.

Question #7-Unexpected friends you made while working at Hanny’s?

Violet: The janitors. They’re like OG’s and deal with everybody problems. If your in the store, say hello because they’re nice.

Tyrone: I’ve made friends with a lot of the high schoolers. Teenage rebellion is plentiful at this store. These kids are edgy and hilarious. Car chases with the police and deep family secrets, man.

J: Gosh, there are so many. All the high school and college aged girls and some guys I’ve gotten to know. It’s been so great to be able to get to know who they are and even build deep friendships with some of them (hence this blog post over a delicious dinner at their apt;)

Question #8-Biggest pet peeve. You only get one. 

Violet: This lady, recently, I asked her, “Did you check your eggs today ma’am?” And she says, “No, I can’t open them.” And internal screams were going off in my head, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN”T OPEN THEM? YOUR BUYING THEM!” Side eyes were made to Jenna during this transaction, who was bagging, following a reply of “Ok, I’ll check.”

Tyrone: Customers that get stuff and give it back at the register. Paying in all change. Honestly, when customers ask for paper.

Jenna: Ok, because that last one is so true I’ll let you have those three. Mine is when I’m hosting, and I am doing my very best to pretend I’m anywhere but working at Hanford, and a customer (which 99% of the time is a boomer) will come up to my line that I am internally begging will stay empty, and say something along the lines of, “You look bored, need some work to do?!” YES, IN FACT, I AM BORED! DON’T BOTHER ME!!!!

Where else can you get workplace discourse like this? Nowhere but a grocery store. In Maine. Thanks Hannaford, I can’t say it’s been swell, but at least you paid me, I made some AWESOME friends, and got those sweet 6% back in rewards. Never looking back.

~J

*Names have been changed because we thought it would be funny. Obviously I’m not changing my name since it’s my blog, so identity spoiled! 😂