Goodbye Eagle Island, hello senior year!

It has been so long, but man did life get crazy. I had an adventure post planned for mid-August about camping in the Maine woods this summer that I unfortunately had to trash since I couldn’t get it written in time. Sorry, Liesel:/

I am back for my senior year at USM with a steely-eyed, fiery reserve, and although I came in half-dead of exhaustion, I came in swinging. We had a great fall launch for Navs, and we’re getting lots of new people every week that hopefully will stay and get planted. Please keep praying for all of us, though. We are so short staffed, and we are just about as stretched thin as we can get, both in terms of actual staff and student leaders. Yikes!

This Friday night a bunch of us got together to celebrate MJ’s birthday which was oodles of fun. Y’all know how much I love that girl! Jordyn came back to campus with me and we had a wonderful time of talking and writing and dreaming. The last time we did this intentionally, I was a freshman and she was a senior and we were in her room on campus. Now, 3 years later, it was weird to reflect on how old we all are. We stayed up until midnight.

The surprise party!

But there was no time for lazily sleeping in, as there was fun to be had today! Emma, Jasmine, Jules, and myself (Wednesday night bible study) went to the Cumberland Fair today. Gosh, I love Maine so much. I never grew up going to county fairs or spending time in the outdoors. I always tell people who grew up in Maine how blessed they are. We saw and petted animals, ate carnival food and drank scrumptious lemonade, saw Emma’s artwork which was on display there, and went on rides. There were many laughs had on the ferris wheel.

Jules and I

Emma is afraid of heights, but I was so proud of how brave she was in coming on the ferris wheel with us!

Emma and I went on the swings later. Check FB for those hilarities.

And so after a long day at the carnival, you would normally go home and crash, right? NOPE. It was time for the very first Supper Club, an idea born not out of necessity but of kindness. I am so lucky to be in an apartment-style room this year where I can cook my own food. It has been a long 3 years of eating pink chicken, soggy vegetables, and underwhelming pasta in the school cafeteria. I knew before I even started this year that once I was settled into my apartment, I wanted to invite girls on campus to come to my room and eat a meal. One night where they don’t have to worry about eating gross Caf food, get out of their dorms, and relax. I figured I could give up eating out once a month in place of buying groceries to feed these underclassmen girls.

So that’s what I did. We made roasted chicken, green beans like my mom makes, and Pao de Quejo (Brazilian cheese buns, a favorite of mine and the group tonight!) I said, “I’m just here to get the people and to feed the people!” This first time, we did it in Kate’s room since she has a better kitchen then I do. Oh, and we almost set the room on fire and I was terrified the first Supper Club would end in smoke and flames and nobody would ever come back for fear of mass evacuation of Upperclass Hall due to the smoke alarms going off. But it all ended up being fine.

I would like, however, to bring it to MY home. I wish I could say someone did this for me when I was an underclassman. An older girl on campus whom I could’ve looked up to with stars in my eyes. Oh, to hear something like, “Friend, take your shoes off, and lay your burdens down here.” would fill me as much as eating food that was prepared for the sake of the gospel. But not doing this for others because nobody did it for me is a lame and weak excuse. I’ve been mulling over the verse in Matthew 25 that says,

“Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me,I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink?And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you?And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these-my brothers or sisters-you did it to me.”

This is an unpopular opinion, but I don’t think I have any right to share the gospel in people’s lives without being their friend first. There is absolutely a place for evangelizing to strangers. However, take all these girls that I’ve invited to Supper Club. Why should they come to Navs? Why should they trust anything I say about changing their lives for Jesus until I’ve shown that I care about who they are!? I love every one of them, ’cause Jesus loved them first and will always love them more.

I wanted to get better pictures, but I was too busy cooking.

I am working hard on trusting people to God, and accepting the fact that I can’t save them. I am a class-A Control Freak. And I can’t even grow the seed. It is ONLY God who draws His children to Him. Not me. I am just the cook who is offering a dorm-cooked meal to some girls once a month. It’s hard, though. I care so much. I care so much I wish I could tear my heart out of my body sometimes.

Alas, it is all in His hands. All I can do is turn my hands over and say, “God, it’s yours.”

I always have and will continue this school year to challenge y’all to be selfless for those you care about, whatever it looks like for you in your life and no matter the cost. My old boss Aaron would always say, “Whatever it takes.” Whatever it takes, indeed, to bring change where I am planted. To see Heaven swing low on a campus, a place considered forsaken by so many.

~J

PS. How about a bonus poem about the dog days of my summer?? Titled, “Halfway Rock”

Halfway rock seems like a dream in the distance on the horizon

Such a ways to travel, 

But oh, couldn’t you just imagine how worth it

it would be?

The best way to make an island feel like a prison is to

look up and see the unknown calling as the waves crash onto the ledge below

and remind me how heavy the responsibility that I wear is. 

I’m not usually one to go jumping off bastions

or chasing lighthouses on the horizon, 

but when something looks so just-in-reach

it makes me want to go!

And I am also not usually one to envy the rich, 

for I know they are poor in sprit, 

But standing and waiting, I wish I could be as free as they are-

They go wherever they want for the green in their wallet.

And I am left here

looking into the fog that burns off faraway to Halfway Rock-

Only a sea-salt longing, and only a dream.