I am not really sure what my leaping off point for this post is, so I guess I’ll just start talking.

Part of my job is to operate a 13-foot motorboat, pick people up from their moored boats and bring them to the island. It’s a very old, dinged, and tippy boat, as you’re only maybe a foot or so above the water in it. The bow tips up when you go fast, so whoever is operating it has to stand holding the port side line and control the tiller at the same time to be able to actually see, doing what I call a George Washington. It looks both awesome and hilarious.

If the seas are too rough or it’s way too windy, we can’t run the launch service because it would be dangerous. But unexpectedly, even when calm, wakes from huge boats that go super fast by the island can come up and tip my small little vessel every which way. Wakes can travel for miles, even though they look like they fade right into the water. And recently, a lot of big wakes have been hitting my small boat.

The boats that make these wakes really must cost a disgusting amount of money, but even smaller boats going really fast can make bad ones as well. I have found that these rich boat people really do like to show off, which is why they come cruising by but never stop. They think they impress people with their boats, but I have seen things so much better. I have seen the sun rise from complete darkness after hiking an 11,000 foot mountain at 2.00am, and while we were up there saw some bighorn sheep to boot. I have seen and helped teach such tender, joyful, and inquisitive spirits in the Ugandan children I got to meet while helping run their summer camp. I have seen horses roll onto their backs and run and gallop and kick around in complete freedom after being let out after a long day’s work. All of these things are so much richer and impress me so much more than a big boat ever could.

They don’t know that their boat’s wake will hit me-how could they possibly know every thing that wake will hit? But aren’t we the same as we walk through life? The consequences of each of our actions, whether good or bad, travel miles and miles and hit many different people and things. I have felt big wakes hit me, both in the boat and in my heart. Sometimes it hurts bad intersecting with people cruising through their lives, because we are all making sacrifices to get to where we are going. The boat cannot help but leave a wake because it has to move to get to its destination. Are you starting to see the parallel? We cannot leave no wake, because if so, we would never get anywhere. But the bigger your dreams are and the faster you want to move towards it, the more sacrifice it takes. And sacrifices leave a ripple effect.

I try to be intentional about the sacrifices I choose to make, and the wake I leave behind. Do I blow a good friend off because I am really tired, or feel like I have an already full plate? Do I tell someone I cannot handle their problems? Do I use people for what they can do for me? These things leave behind some pretty rotten wakes for those behind me to feel. The ripple effect is a bad one, no matter what your intentions may be.

As I have been chewing on all this, I wrote a poem. I’ve mentioned before that I am a 6 on the enneagram, and I really feel the feels deeply on this. As you read, ask yourself-Is there a limit to the love I give to others? Or do I die to myself as Christ did as my example?

“As Much As I Love You…”

We all make sacrifices-

I used to think our dreams were free, 

but now I realize how wrong that was.

Chasing after desire has a cost

 

And I didn’t know I had to pay the ferryman to walk through this life. 

When they call your name and your dream is staring into your eyes, what will you use to pay for it? 

Money? Time? Sleep? 

Or will you part with friendship to pay the boatman?

to have a child, record an album, or go on mission?

When you look back behind your wake, when your dreams have been achieved and all the hours proved fruitful, what will you see?

A trail of lost longing glances to those whom you said goodbye to, the ones who thought some roots went deeper than they actually did?

What a raw deal for those of us who refuse to pay in people, to use a kinship as currency to get ahead-

no, I would rather be broke, exhausted, and out of time.

 

I threw out my earthly dreams a long time ago in favor of taking as many people to Heaven with me as possible,

but I don’t resent those who are still chasing,

and because I have yet to reach 77x,

I choose to forgive. 

I do not blame anybody for chasing their paths. I cannot blame anyone for living their lives, as we all have a life to live, so you better live it! I only encourage to keep in mind those who are on that path with you, in front of you, and behind you-not sacrificing your people to get just a little farther ahead, get a little more sleep, or save a little more money. It’s not worth it. The ripple effect may be bigger than you could ever know.

~J

“Act justly, love mercy, walk humbly.”-Micah 6:8